So it turns out I’ve been living under a rock. Or rather the deep, dark, painful cloud of the worst fucking case of sinusitis ever. The little bit of time I spent at work last week, I was high on benedryl, mucinex, advil, cough drops, and any other legal drug that promised to make the pain stop.
The first I heard about Chicken-gate was a status post from one of my FB friends – a close friend, nearly family, for many, many years – that she was waiting in line at Chick-Fil-A with 28 other cars. While I definitely have a soft spot for their fried chicken goodness, I didn’t understand why anybody would wait that long in line for a greasy splurge. Five days later (yesterday) I stayed awake long enough to watch some missed episodes of Daily Show, while sitting at home, trying to recover, with a new box of kleenex and humidifier, and I learned all about the bad, bigoted, evilness to which my friend was referring.
My first impression was horror that my friend had posted this on FB. And that so many of my other friends had *liked* it. We have quite a few mutual FB friends who are gay and out – singles and couples, with and without kids. Did my “friends” understand how FB worked? Did they get that our mutual “friends” were reading all about their support of hatred? Did they care? My next reaction was shame. Shame that these are my friends. And now this morning, reading through the back-log of blog posts from the past week, the calls to speak up from Gerty and Isis and many others I respect – I just feel so sad. And angry. And confused.
A week before Chicken-gate, I got into an all-out FB scuffle with my brother about the Boy Scouts decision to continue excluding gays. We went several rounds for all my family and friends to observe. I got one vote of confidence from one very old church friend, and nothing else. Nobody else wanted to enter the fray, either for or against. Dead silence, until some guy selling chicken decided to open his big fat bigoted mouth and spew hate. Then all those friends couldn’t shut up about how long they waited in line for a damned chicken sandwich.
I’m really confused about this crap. I know I shouldn’t be. I know I should just disregard these individuals as friends, since their ability to hate is beyond what I know how to tolerate. But some of these individuals are long-time friends who have been there for me at bad times. It’s also not just my friends, but my family. Many of them are people I love, in spite of their faults. In spite of a huge fucking fault – hatred that I don’t understand.
I haven’t eaten Chick-Fil-A in quite a while now. Not for any political reason, but because there’s not one really close by in TTT, and I’m not about to go out of my way for their fatty
goodness evilness, when I have no time to work off those evil little calories. So I’m not sure my boycott means much, but boycott I certainly will. I will also continue to speak up whenever the opportunity arrises. It may cost me some friends, but I think I’m okay with that. The friends that stick yet disagree, well, I’ll assume they respect me just as much as I respect them – for our past friendship, not for our current views.
I do believe things are changing for the better – I’ve seen the positive changes in some of my family, the clergy at my churches, the willingness of colleagues and friends to also speak up. All this positive change, IMO, is what’s made the hatred get so frighteningly loud. Change doesn’t come easy, but I’ll continue to fight for it every way I know how – to ensure everyone I know and love can live a full, happy life, and enjoy ALL the civil rights our country promised so long ago.