Diaper Humor

Regarding poopie diapers:

Monkey likes to grab his junk as soon as his diaper comes off. While I don’t want him impregnating any girls too early, I would like to have grandchildren someday (like in 30 years). I keep imagining a rather embarrassing conversation for my future daughter-in-law, wherein I describe how Monkey ruined his junk before the age of 1.

Another concern about junk grabbing during poopie diaper changes: Hubby and I are quickly learning to grab Monkey’s hands as soon as the diaper is pulled down, but we’re not always quick enough. The lamenting exclamation “NOT YOUR HANDS!!!” can often be heard when changing poopie diapers.

I’ve asked this before, but it begs a repeat: why does poop always shoot upward?

Because of the anti-gravitational properties of poop, I have had to change mine and Monkey’s clothing, and/or clean the car seat, sheets, and carpet right as we’re ready to walk out the door soooo many times.

Monkey likes to arch his back and look at the world behind him while his diaper is being changed. This squirming has led us to move diaper changes from the dresser to the floor. Although I’m now quite worried about poop ending up on our carpet. We always put an absorbent pad beneath him, but he tends to squirm or roll off it when I reach for the wipes.

Why is it Hubby and I can’t remember to grab the wipes before changing Monkey’s diaper? You’d really think we’d have learned this lesson by now.

Monkey giggles when we clean up the poop around his penis. I don’t know what this means for his future interactions with girls, but I’m quite alright if it delays a serious lady friend for a little while.

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10 thoughts on “Diaper Humor

  1. Sounds so very familiar! πŸ™‚ Sometimes I give W a toy or book b/f changing the poopy diapers…this helps with the grabbing, but sometimes the toy ends up in the poop-so choose said toy wisely (I have thrown them away). I don’t know what it is about boys and their junk–but it is a bond formed early and often πŸ™‚

  2. LOL! I can relate to every single point. We have a toy hanging above the change table, so when he’s rolling and arching his back, we shake the toy and it gets his attention for a few seconds. Then we repeat as necessary!

  3. Put a wipe in his hand before you remove the diaper. Not only will this habit ensure you have the wipes out, but he will reach down to grab his junk, and help you wipe at the same time. That, and books.

  4. Yeah, the toy attempts haven’t worked out so well for the toys. We don’t have a way to hang something above him (I don’t think), but we’ll definitely have to give the wipe trick a try…if we can remember – yeah, dimwitted, I know. πŸ˜›

  5. I wish that I couldn’t relate. Mijo is 20 months old and still grabbing himself even during a poopy diaper change. The wipes, toys, books, and all other manners of distraction have not worked. 😦

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