Off the map

I have kept up with only three things since having Monkey: science, family, and blogging. Everything else – running, cooking, choir, friends – has fallen by the wayside. Some of the neglect isn’t a big deal. Even though I’m not running, breastfeeding takes quite the calorie load, as does carrying Monkey’s car seat up and down two flights of stairs at our condo. Also, Hubby does a lot of the cooking now, and we keep plenty of prepared meals from CostCo on hand for those nights when he has little time/energy to cook.

But losing touch with people is a much harder pill to swallow. I didn’t even realize how bad things had gotten until this past week, when a series of phone calls, emails, and text messages brought my absence into focus:

  • I haven’t been to church in almost two months, and members of the choir have begun to mail their gifts for Monkey. I got a phone call from one of the members this afternoon asking if I would be back at practice soon so she could give us a couple of onesies she bought. She was afraid he might grow out of them before she saw me again.

  • I declined an invitation to a bridal shower this coming weekend since Monkey and Hubby are both sick. I forgot I had even been invited until the hostess called me this past week for a reply.

  • I just ran into a good friend who used to work in our lab. We’ve spoken once since she graduated – in October.

  • I found out this past weekend that my best friend from grad school is due in July with her third child. Yes, that’s right – July. Meaning she’s 20 weeks pregnant. I had no idea.

  • My oldest friend is getting married in April, and I’m one of her three bridesmaids. Yet we’ve only spoken a couple times in the past few months. We played phone tag this whole past week, and she finally resorted to leaving long detailed messages about showers, rehearsal dinners, and bachelorette parties on my voicemail.

  • As the saddest example, my grandmother went into the hospital this past weekend with bronchitis. She’s 93 years old, my last surviving grandparent, and has been in not great health for a while. I decided to call her this weekend when she’s (slated to be) back home, after realizing we haven’t spoken since Christmas.

I’m starting to wonder if I’m going to have anyone left before too long. I’m not always going to be this busy with Monkey…who will I turn to then? Most of my friends and family live far away, and many are just as busy as me. So it’s not completely unexpected that some drift would occur. But my grandmother? That’s inexcusable. I need to find my way back to my old life – before it moves on without me.


3 thoughts on “Off the map

  1. I hear you. My grandma turned 98 on Feb 1. I still have a card sitting on my fireplace mantle. Seriously, all I had to do was slap a stamp on it and send it off. Now I am torn.. Is it too late? I feel like such a jerk.

    And i haven't even kept up with my blogging.

    I don't know the answer. I think you just have to prioritize. I personally am a list maker. I need to write it down, and sort it by importance and check it off. I am running around like a headless chicken and get distracted (“oh look! shiny!”) and the important stuff gets overlooked for stupid minutia.

    Anyhow, sorry.. I went on a rant there. But just know you aren't the only one who struggles with it. I think it takes a conscious effort. Hard to believe it comes down to it, but it does. I have to remember to try to to remember my friends and family. Yikes.

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