More on "The Boss"

I started writing a response to a few of the comments on my previous post, but it turned into quite the essay. So I decided another post was in order. In response to JLK and Cloud:

I guess we’re doing a little bit of both of what y’all suggest, in that we definitely try to follow Monkey’s lead on most things, but we’ve drawn very clear lines in the sand. For instance, we absolutely won’t co-sleep with Monkey. Co-sleeping meant no-sleeping for Hubby and I. (Monkey does this grunting thing when he sleeps, every 10 minutes or so, as he readjusts, which we found very distracting.) We moved him from his bassinet to his crib at just 5 days old. A couple of weeks later he started resisting sleep in his crib, at which point we put his bouncer in his crib. The bouncer is the only thing he’s slept well in since. In a way, he is already sleeping in his crib, just not on the flat mattress.

At this point, though, we really do need to start thinking of moving him out of his bouncer. He can kick the buttons at the bottom if we don’t strap him in tight enough, which is difficult when trying to keep him asleep. Also, he’s already over 12 pounds. I’m not sure what the weight limit on our bouncer is, but it’s starting to creak a little under his weight. Since we’re pretty sure we have a time limit on it, we decided it was time to start trying the move. We’re not rigidly bound to moving him to the crib right now, but we want him there in the next couple of months.

On a related note: I’m not sure which came first – the depression or anxiety. But the guilt that resulted from either/both made me worry panic about every little thing the Monkey did – where he slept, when he ate, how he cried – EVERYTHING. Since starting the Zoloft, I’ve found that I’m much more willing to let go and allow him take a little cat nap on my chest, fall asleep while nursing, etc. I’m walking a fairly narrow line right now in order to be the mom I want to be. I know the Monkey is developing habits right now that will last a long time, so I’m very wary of letting him take too much control. In the service of my sanity though, I’m showing more of my soft side right now – especially since the Monkey is still so young, and I missed out on enjoying him for so much of his first two months.

It’s a difficult balance, much like that between work and family, but I’m sure we’ll find our way. I really love the ideas and different viewpoints I get on this blog, though. Not only do they provide me with new ways of thinking about his raising, they remind me of the very important truth that there are so many ways to do the whole parenting thing “the right way”.

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3 thoughts on “More on "The Boss"

  1. Pumpkin slept in her moses basket in her crib for awhile, when we were trying to make that transition.

    Our bouncer goes up to 25 lbs. My 15 month old only weighs about 23. But our model doesn't do anything when she kicks unless we have the music attachment on, and we obviously leave that off if we're trying to have her sleep in it!

    Does Monkey show any other signs of reflux? Preferring to sleep in an upright/semi-reclined position is one warning sign. But he's sleeping so well, and that is not usual for kids with reflux. Still, you could ask your doctor about it. One of the women in my breastfeeding support group saw an amazing change in sleep after she got her baby's reflux treated.

    You're completely right that there is no one right way to do this. It took me a long time to learn that. I remember completely obsessing about things when Pumpkin was Monkey's age, too.

    It sounds like you have a good idea of what you do with sleep, and that is a good start. I think at the same stage with Pumpkin all I knew was that wanted her to sleep. Which she didn't do!

  2. It sounds like you're doing things very similar to how hubby and I were/are doing them. If I sounded in my comment like I was saying “this is the Right way to do it,” I completely apologize because that was not my intent. I wanted to present the opposing viewpoint because it's worked for us.

  3. I didn't take it that way at all. It's so easy with this stuff – anything baby related, really – to wonder if you're doing things the “right way”. I'm finally learning that there are many right ways, and I have to keep reminding myself of that – in my head and on my blog. 🙂

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