Open letter – a much-needed rant

originally posted on LabSpaces

Dear Universe, I understand that, since I got pregnant, my heart hasn’t been 110% into my science, but I’ve still worked mighty hard to keep up my end of the deal. I’ve presented at meetings, even in the midst of bronchitis. I’ve spent 9-10 hour days in the lab, squeezing in calls to childcare facilities and pediatricians. I’m currently pushing forward on two different projects – one for a grant and one for an all-but-ready-to-go publication, and have more on the back burner in case these fall through. I’m keeping up with my commitments to the two committees I serve on. I’m trying my best here to figure out how to squeeze 30 hours of work and life responsibility into a 24-hour day. I plan ahead, make to-do lists, and refuse to over-commit.

So why in the hell are you screwing with me? Is it absolutely necessary for the $50K piece of equipment that our department owns to be broken down? And why have we not hired somebody to fix it yet? And why don’t we have a service contract on something that is worth more than twice what my insured, warrantied new car is worth? Is it not enough that I’ve spent hours, days and sometimes weeks fixing this damn piece of equipment in the past? And now I have a shit ton of work to do on it, and it’s not available. If AA’s definition of insanity is repeating the same action over and over again and expecting a different result, then this behavior is certifiable.

And why, when I had a back-up plan for other action items on my to-do list that could be done this week, have none of my reagents been ordered? Is two weeks notice for a simple chemical too much to ask? Did I need to hold somebody’s hand to make sure this stuff got done? Am I really surrounded by this much incompetence? I didn’t think “babysitter” was a part of my job description.

Since you’ve decided to fuck* with me today, I have no choice but to say fuck it as well. I guess I’m supposed to just sit here and pick my nose all day, or wander around and bug people – I see others that do this quite often, and they still have a job. Not that they’re productive or anything. Or maybe I could go enjoy a spa day. Because that’s a useful expenditure of my limited amount of time. Or I could sit here and blog all day.**

Or I could rage against those who are responsible for this situation…although that would probably just lead to further hemming and hawing and outright incompetence. So, instead, I’ll figure out how to get my third and fourth backup plans ready to work on for the remainder of this week, not that that will rescue this wasted day. But that’s what us grownups do. I’ve taken time for my rant, and now I have work to do. Don’t you dare think of fucking with anything else on my list…

_____________________________________________

*Mark it – this is the first time I’ve actually been willing to spell out this word on the internets.

**Already bored of this, now that my rant is complete.

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