It’s been a completely crappy day.
I’ve been contributing to some things outside of the lab, but still work-related, for the past year. For the most part, it has been a good experience, and I’ve learned a lot about how university administration and politics play a role in my everyday work life. But I’ve been stretched really thin for the past couple of weeks while trying to finish up some the projects I’ve been involved with. Making things worse, I’ve run into all kinds of bureaucratic bullshit this past week, which has started making this whole experience quite unbearable.
On top of it all, I’m starting to get the overwhelming feeling that this has been completely unappreciated by others. Maybe that’s just what happens when everything is run by committee, but it’s especially discomforting right now. I’m not sure if I’ve stepped on toes – nobody has told me if I have. I’ve only tried to step up and do something instead of just bitching about how crappy things are in my little corner of the world. But I’m not sure it’s come across that way. Or maybe I’m just taking things the wrong way. I really have no idea, and the resulting insecurity is killing me.
On days like this, it seems staying in my own little hole would make others happier and keep me from feeling like utter shit. I think it’s time to go for a run.
UPDATE: Since my rant earlier today, things have substantially improved. I’ve talked to a few people about some of the politicking, the red tape is loosening, and my sanity is returning. And, as always, the run helped. 🙂