Chicken-gate and hate

So it turns out I’ve been living under a rock. Or rather the deep, dark, painful cloud of the worst fucking case of sinusitis ever. The little bit of time I spent at work last week, I was high on benedryl, mucinex, advil, cough drops, and any other legal drug that promised to make the pain stop.

The first I heard about Chicken-gate was a status post from one of my FB friends – a close friend, nearly family, for many, many years – that she was waiting in line at Chick-Fil-A with 28 other cars. While I definitely have a soft spot for their fried chicken goodness, I didn’t understand why anybody would wait that long in line for a greasy splurge. Five days later (yesterday) I stayed awake long enough to watch some missed episodes of Daily Show, while sitting at home, trying to recover, with a new box of kleenex and humidifier, and I learned all about the bad, bigoted, evilness to which my friend was referring.

My first impression was horror that my friend had posted this on FB. And that so many of my other friends had *liked* it. We have quite a few mutual FB friends who are gay and out – singles and couples, with and without kids. Did my “friends” understand how FB worked? Did they get that our mutual “friends” were reading all about their support of hatred? Did they care? My next reaction was shame. Shame that these are my friends. And now this morning, reading through the back-log of blog posts from the past week, the calls to speak up from Gerty and Isis and many others I respect – I just feel so sad. And angry. And confused.

A week before Chicken-gate, I got into an all-out FB scuffle with my brother about the Boy Scouts decision to continue excluding gays. We went several rounds for all my family and friends to observe. I got one vote of confidence from one very old church friend, and nothing else. Nobody else wanted to enter the fray, either for or against. Dead silence, until some guy selling chicken decided to open his big fat bigoted mouth and spew hate. Then all those friends couldn’t shut up about how long they waited in line for a damned chicken sandwich.

I’m really confused about this crap. I know I shouldn’t be. I know I should just disregard these individuals as friends, since their ability to hate is beyond what I know how to tolerate. But some of these individuals are long-time friends who have been there for me at bad times. It’s also not just my friends, but my family. Many of them are people I love, in spite of their faults. In spite of a huge fucking fault – hatred that I don’t understand.

I haven’t eaten Chick-Fil-A in quite a while now. Not for any political reason, but because there’s not one really close by in TTT, and I’m not about to go out of my way for their fatty goodness evilness, when I have no time to work off those evil little calories. So I’m not sure my boycott means much, but boycott I certainly will. I will also continue to speak up whenever the opportunity arrises. It may cost me some friends, but I think I’m okay with that. The friends that stick yet disagree, well, I’ll assume they respect me just as much as I respect them – for our past friendship, not for our current views.

I do believe things are changing for the better – I’ve seen the positive changes in some of my family, the clergy at my churches, the willingness of colleagues and friends to also speak up. All this positive change, IMO, is what’s made the hatred get so frighteningly loud. Change doesn’t come easy, but I’ll continue to fight for it every way I know how – to ensure everyone I know and love can live a full, happy life, and enjoy ALL the civil rights our country promised so long ago.

2 thoughts on “Chicken-gate and hate

  1. I am also shocked and saddened by the smiling faces continuing to line up for the political sandwich. And I never thought I would see the day where it was so simple for folks to show such intense hatred towards their fellow humans. How can these same folks claim to be friends with LGBT folks? They understand how friendship works, right?? What do these people think–that if you fall in love or lust for a person of the same gender that you are somehow no longer a member of the human race? Aren’t there lots of things in the Bible that people have discarded (plural marriage, for example), but somehow cherry pick scripture to make them feel righteous about their hate?? This is the biggest civil rights issue of our time–and it’s way passed time….

    I’m happy that I’m not on Facebook. I shudder to think what I would have learned. I’ve been twitter-silent because I’m trying my best to get things done before little Moore #2 makes his debut (9 days left….)-so if there is anyone that I need to ‘unfollow’ I’m unawares–and that makes me sad.

    Also, while we’re on the subject, neither of my boys will ever be a member of the Boy Scouts. I have no idea if either one is gay or not (particularly since one is still gestating), but I’ll be damned if I ever put them in the position to made to feel awkward about who they are-or put in the position to *learn* who to hate……

    Hope that you feel better, Dr. O.

  2. I’m really confused about this crap. I know I shouldn’t be. I know I should just disregard these individuals as friends, since their ability to hate is beyond what I know how to tolerate.

    I know the feeling. Both my brother and I are out to our family, in the face of significant hate. But we both show up to family events, speak the pleasantries, tell lies of omission and commission when necessary. I have a really hard time cutting ties with them, even when the hate is directed towards me. It would hurt too many other people who aren’t hateful, or who are trying to come around. And there are too many fond memories formed with these people from the past, and those hold weight for me, even though it sometimes seems that my sexuality outweighs those memories in their minds.

    I hope the sinus troubles pass.

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